Sunshine Freckle Time

So after pondering my "too white for white" moment, I started thinking of other downfalls of the ginger situation. What I came up with is a characteristic that affects a rather large percentage of the red head population. We as a ginger community have been, what I consider to be, blessed with the most easily ridiculed hair color and a skin-tone the likes of which burns fire-red with mere momentary contact with the sun. However, the one characteristic typical of red heads that I would have preferred to have been passed on to another hair-color clan is freckles. I mean, come on. Now, I am not referencing the occasional smattering of freckles that has the ability to appear on the faces of brunettes, blondes and red heads alike. No, those are nice, tasteful, and hardly obtuse. What I am referring to are the brown spots that tend to consume an onlooker's entire attention; the distractingly dark patches that appear not only on the face, but on hands, knees, shoulders, elbows, feet and practically any other body part, visible or not, and which typically occur solely on red heads. Those freckles that hide dormant in the shade, merely the simple array enjoyed by non-ginger persons, but the likes of which strike loudly and with a vengeance when introduced to sunlight. Now, seriously, this hardly seems fair. In my opinion, the unfavorable genetic characteristics should be equally distributed among the various hair-color groups, but no. They are unthoughtfully and unequivocally added to the plight of the red head. Well, my fellow gingers, it seems that this must be our burden to bare. The best that we have to hope for is that, in our ever-vigilant attempts to avoid the sun's rays, we will be the least prominent hair color to be diagnosed with skin cancer.

Too white for the whitest foundation

You know you're a ginger when... you're too white for the whitest shade of foundation.

I went into Nordis today to purchase new foundation and asked the associate at the Clinique counter for a color match. So she does her thing, of course grabbing the lightest color available, and I think nothing of it. I mean, hey, it's Colorado, right? And we are just getting into the good weather. No one can be too tan yet. And so the associate puts a little on my jaw and says, "So, um, are you planning on tanning this summer?" I assume she is asking because she doesn't want to go too light and for me to have to buy a new color right away, but... wrongo... she continues, "Because this is the lightest shade we carry, and its a little too dark for you." Well, there you have it. I am officially whiter than the whitest white... Nice...

A Failed Generation

Today I purchased an electronic dictionary. I know, this (coupled with the little pink book light I also recently acquired) officially labels me a geek in the extreme, but I love it! I feel as though my generation has been crippled by the introduction of the "spell check" into common usage. The first, last and only time I remember having a spelling list was in Mrs. Hensley's seventh grade English class. Apparently, the need for knowledge on how words are spelt ends with the commencement of grade school and the subsequent introduction into the world of word processors. 

Up Up and Away

You wanna know something that has always bugged me? In fact, it has been the means to the ruining of multiple otherwise perfectly enjoyable feature films. And it is this: the main character in movies has never, ever, everrrrr been a ginger. Now, let me explain why this has caused me so much dismay. This trend has given credence to the already popular opinion that red heads are good for nothing more than the sidelines; the "crazy", or as Ben likes to put it, "unstable" ones of society present merely for occasional slapstick entertainment (recall the ever popular "I Love Lucy"). However, recent mass media productions have shown that there is change in the air. That the ginger community will no longer sit idly by and be objects of meaningless hilarity. This evolution in the role of red heads in motion pictures was initiated by the ever charming and delightful Amy Adams in "Enchanted." It was further proliferated by the subtly captivating and thought provoking (although this opinion may be argued further at a later time) performance of Isla Fisher in  "Confessions of a Shopaholic." Regardless of one's personal stance in the ongoing debate on the merit of red heads, I think it is clear that the prestige of the once overlooked and highly undervalued ginger may be on the rise.